2 months ago

A teacher's aide in class was calling me by my dead name, wouldn't get out of my face, waving her hands in my face, got mad when I talked to the teacher, and reeked of cigarettes. . She made me so uncomfortable in class. She then was trying to talk to me when I was taking a test. She was in 2 of my classes today. I took the whole class period for the test which is understandable with my learning disability. And she was like, why did you take so long. So I simply said, why do you not understand learning disabilities. Also I am really good about using full and complete sentences. She doesn't seem to get that. She's tried giving me hugs which I don't allow if I don't trust the person (friends are acceptable). She seems to like making my learning ability harder than it already is. In forensics I was trying to figure I it the difference between class and individual evidence, so I was taking longer on the test than the others. The TEACHER understood. But the TEACHERS AIDE didn't. The teachers aide works with kids with all sorts of disabilities. Why does she target me for not getting something done when the others do. During forensics while i was trying to finish my test the teacher handed out notes. The teacher asked her aide to check if people were done writing the notes. The aide looked at me and said "Yeah, everyone is done writing down the notes." Even though I was still writing down the notes. I just. I don't know anymore. I just want to know why she targets me. She even got mad at me for putting my head down on the desk. Perfume bothers me and triggers my migraines. Some jackrabbit decided to put perfume on during class and mind you they sit right in front of me. So guess where the smell goes. Right to my fucking face.

Today 2/4/2020

Well, she got in my dang face again. I mean, i thought she got fired. But nope, apparently it wasn't bad enough for her to get fired. And she knows what it's like to work with special needs children, and she tries to diagnose me and say i don't have ADHD? I'm like, "your not my fucking doctor so back the fuck up and leave me alone." But yeah. I'm mad. She came into my class and tried to sweet talk me. that don't work with me. after you basically hurt me in front of the whole class and harassed me, sweet talking me won't make anything better. And yes, I plan to hold a grudge on this forever. I will never forgive her

Life Struggles (last week of January)

This week: So at school, i have been being harassed by my ex boyfriend. I had told him to stop touching me and poking me. He then proceeds to hold my hand and kiss my neck. He then told me how I make him hard. I just sat there trying to not think about it. He won't stop kissing me or poking me even though I have yelled stop. Is me punching him and "breaking up" with him over text the right thing to do? I just need help and IDK how to tell him in person. He is autistic and I don't want to hurt him. But when he tells me that he wants me to handcuff him. And he wants me to cheat on my girlfriend. He also keeps saying he loves me, and I say nothing in return. I'm just really scared that if I tell him in person that he will try to hurt himself. What should I do?

Today: So I just got home. And right when I get to the parking lot, there is a sheriff talking with my downstairs neighbor. My other downstairs neighbor comes out with her dog. She sees that I look scared. She tells me to look down to the ground and walk up the stairs. When I get to the bottom of the stairs that I need to climb I listen for a little bit on what they are talking about. The only thing I hear is, "He tried to kill himself." I had tears forming in my eyes and I ran up the stairs. And when I get inside I start crying. I knew then that there was gonna be more sheriffs and that I was having an anxiety attack. I texted my mom and friends. My mom said that I should be fine, but my friends are worried about me.